Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Dreaded DNF Series #1: Girl Online by Zoe Sugg

Hey there, bookworms! As some of you probably don’t know, I’m a girl with a lot of food on her plate (not literally—I’m thinner than the average person). Even though I love reading books, I still have a pile of “To Read” stuff on my bookshelf and I just don’t have time to finish a book if it bores/annoys me a lot, even though I try so hard to finish it just for the sake of saying I made it.

So I decided to make this section called “The Dreaded DNF” (DNF = Did Not Finish), since I thought it would be unfair to make a normal book review for those novels I stopped reading halfway through. I’ll just discuss the reason(s) why I couldn’t just find the strength to do so.

And this episode’s first DNF is... Unfortunately, “Girl Online” by Zoe Sugg.

Amazon | Goodreads | Simon & Schuster

All right, don’t get me wrong here. I love Zoe(‘s brother). I watch her videos on Youtube and I just really like how refreshing and happy she looks every time she posts them. I’m even following her blog. But even so, I can’t just let that get to me and say her book is lovely when I don’t think it is.

I was extremely excited to read Zoella’s book the moment I finally had the time to read it. A girl who’s more comfortable on the internet? Sounds like I can relate. But the moment I started reading the book, I had to say I was bored by the time I reached chapter 10.

Let me enumerate the reasons why I had to stop reading the book even though I didn’t want to:

#1: Showing, Not Telling

The narration keeps going on and on about the life of a normal teenage girl. She goes to school, has an interesting best friend, have “kind-of-fake” friends (at least, they seemed fake to me) and have the insecurities of an average girl. No matter how much I want to say I can relate to Penny, it’s just that I couldn’t see anything interesting in her life that made me look forward to flipping through the book even more.

#2: OK? OK.

I understand that the book has snippets of Penny’s blog, and that she has the freedom to say anything however she wants to say it because it’s hers, but the moment it’s over and the narration kicks back in, her OK’s should switch to the proper Okay. I’m bothered by the fact that Penny keeps on using the acronym even though she’s already narrating what’s happening in her life. Would the normal “Okay” hurt anyone? Nope, I don’t think so.

#3: Too Much Overreaction

I don’t know if this actually happens in real life for other people, but it doesn’t for me. There’s too much overreaction from some of the characters in the book that I didn’t like—and not in a good way.

“Oh. My. God. Penny!” Megan shrieks. “What have you done? It looks like I’ve got a mustache!” She slams the camera down on the table.

Girl, I think you need a chill pill or two.

“Oh my God—he thinks I farted. He thinks I have fleas and I farted! I start praying for an asteroid to hit the café, or for the zombie apocalypse to start—anything to make Ollie forget what has just happened.

I know you’re embarrassed but I just...

#4: Predictable Plot

Like I said, the book tells the normal adventures of a teenage girl that even I could tell how the story will flow.
“All I have to do is go onstage, take a picture, and come off again. What’s the worst that can happen...?”

#5: Too-Happy Parents

I probably shouldn’t have added this because it isn’t much of an issue for me, but I just got to say—Penny has got such gleeful parents.

“OK,” Mum and Dad say in unison.“Ha! Jinx!” Mum cries, kissing Dad on the cheek.

Wish I had that kind of lot.

I was hoping to love this book like the others, but I just can’t. I’m sorry, Zoella. I love you, but your book... not so much.

What about you? Have you read Zoe’s book? Did you love it or nah? Share your thoughts below!
author image

Mara @ Mara Was Here

*Pops confetti* Congratulations, you've reached 'till the end of this post! I'm Mara, 15, and I love anything bookish and graphic designing. I also spend 90% of my life fawning over fictional boyfriends and smelling books. Thanks for hanging out at my blog! (And yes, that's me sniffing Six of Crows in our car.)

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